Humour of Tolkien

Do you know anyone who after reading 'The Hobbit', 'The Lord of the Rings' or short story 'Farmer Giles of Ham' still insists that John Ronald Reuel Tolkien had no sence of humour? I have been sharpening my teeth and my sword of gondolin steel (on the left). Besides I have quite near a pile of sulphur and a barrel of napalm and I can use it to feed my Balrog (he is my pet), to light his fire bigger. If it is still not enough for you I will give you a final argument.

How can you still insist that he had no sense of humour if I tell you that beeing a professor of languages and english literature starts his goodbye lecture with words:

'It might be held characteristic that, though I have occupied two chairs (or sat uneasily on the edge of two chairs) in this university, I have not yet delivered an inaugural lecture: I am now about 34 years behind. At the time of my first election I was too astonished (a feeling that has never quite left me) to gather my wits, until I had already given many ordinary lectures as required by statute, and it seemed to me that an inaugural that would not inaugurate was a ceremony better omitted. On the second occasion, my ineffectiveness as a lecturer was already well known, and well-wishers had made sure (by letter or otherwise) that I should know it too; so I thought it unnecessary to give a special exhibition of this unfortunate defect. And, though twenty years had then gone by, during which this matter of the overdue inaugural had been much on my mind, I had not yet discovered anything special to say. Fourteen more years have now passed, and I still have nothing special to say.'

I think it is a proper place and time to present some quotations. Firstly some of them don't look very funny but if you compere it to the whole book they are funny. If no of them make you laugh, take my sword and kill a spleeny chap in you, who don't let you enjoy Tolkien's World.

"Both rings were round, and there the resemblance ceases."

Bilbo met the guests (and additions) at the new white gate in person. He gave away presents to all and sundry - the latter were those who went out again by a back way and came in again by the gate.

... for hobbits were easy-going with their children in the matter of sitting up late, especially when there was a chance of getting them a free meal. Bringing up young hobbits took a lot of provender.

Gardeners came by arrangement, and removed in wheel-barrows those that had inadvertently remained behind.

'It takes a lot o' believing,' said the gaffer, 'though I can see he's been mixing in strange company. What's come of his weskit? I don't hold with wearing ironmongery, whether it wears well or no.'

Suddenly Gandalf laughed.
'Come inside!' he shouted, and putting out both his arms he lifted the astonished Sam, shears, grass-clippings and all, right through the window and stood him on the floor.

And the other perian Meriadoc who is under my care, what of him?' said the Warden.
'It is likely that he will be fit to arise tomorrow, for a short while,' said Aragorn. 'Let him do so, if he wishes. He may walk a little in the care of his friends.'
'They are a remarkable race,' said the Warden, nodding his head. 'Very tough in the fibre, I deem.' .

'Well, you see, we have lost all our belongings,' said Merry. 'We have only a little food.'
'O! Hm! You need not trouble about that,' said Treebeard. 'I can give you a drink that will keep you green and growing for a long, long while

But more news came in next day. The dragon, it appeared, was exceptionally large and ferocious. He was doing terrible damage.
`What about the King's knights? people began to say.
Others had already asked the same question. Indeed, messengers were now reaching the King from the villages most afflicted by Chrysophylax,
and they said to him as loudly and as often as they dared:
`Lord, what of your knights?'
But the knights did nothing; their knowledge of the dragon was still quite unofficial.

'Master Meriadoc,' said Aragorn, 'if you think that I have passed through the mountains and the realm of Gondor with fire and sword to bring herbs to a careless soldier who throws away his gear, you are mistaken. If your pack has not been found, then you must send for the herb-master of this House. And he will tell you that he did not know that the herb you desire had any virtues, but that it is called westmansweed by the vulgar, and galenas by the noble, and other names in other tongues more learned, and after adding a few half-forgotten rhymes that he does not understand, he will regretfully inform you that there is none in the House, and he will leave you to reflect on the history of tongues'

Gandalf laughed.
'Don't be afraid!' he said. `I did not bite, and I barked very little. So overjoyed was I by the news that I got out of him, when he stopped quaking, that I embraced the old fellow.

'And if not,' said Gandalf, 'I will ride to Lossarnach with Ioreth behind me, and she shall take me to the woods, but not to her sisters. And Shadowfax shall show her the meaning of haste.'

'Hush!' said Gandalf from the shadows at the back of the porch. 'Evil things do not come into this valley; but all the same we should not name them. The Lord of the Ring is not Frodo, but the master of the Dark Tower of Mordor, whose power is again stretching out over the world! We are sitting in a fortress. Outside it is getting dark.'
'Gandalf has been saying many cheerful things like that,' said Pippin

"A burrahobbit?" said they a bit startled. Trolls are slow in the uptake, and mighty suspicious about anything new to them.
"What's a burrahobbit got to do with my pocket, anyways?" said William.
"And can yer cook 'em?" said Tom.
"Yer can try," said Bert, picking up a skewer.

Frodo's wine had not been included in the sale to the Sackville-Bagginses.
'Whatever happens to the rest of my stuff, when the S.-B.s get their claws on it, at any rate I have found a good home for this!' said Frodo, as he drained his glass. It was the last drop of Old Winyards.

Not much enough? Don't worry. There will be more if you come again.